This illness has been difficult. Every time I think I’m starting to feel better, I suffer another relapse.
I am humbly asking for help, and started a go fund me for what ever you may be able to donate. I will be eternally grateful.
This illness has been difficult. Every time I think I’m starting to feel better, I suffer another relapse.
I am humbly asking for help, and started a go fund me for what ever you may be able to donate. I will be eternally grateful.
As many of you who’ve tried to contact me recently have known, I’ve been off on medical leave, with an automated text message on my business line stating this.
Today I’d like to share a bit about what I’ve been dealing with, and what steps I’m taking on the road to recovery.
As I’ve shared in previous posts, I’ve struggled with anxiety and panic disorder most of my life. Whilst I’ve generally been able to deal with these conditions by natural methods, the stresses of this year overwhelmed me, both mentally and then physically.
The year started off with fear of this unknown virus and fear that this could be a life threatening plague. Soon after realizing that it was actually not all that serious, the lockdowns started, prohibiting me from working at all. This of course introduced fear for basic survival; how am I going to be able to keep a roof over my head, or food on the table? And the more the “powers that be” kept pushing this fear narrative when in reality the numbers were being manipulated, tests were inaccurate, deaths that had nothing to do with covid were being counted as covid deaths, etc. This created a fear of, what is this really about then? What nefarious plan is this government really trying to pull off? (By the way, if you still count on the controlled mainstream media propaganda outlets for the news, ie CNN, Fox, etc., I’d stop now and tune into the RBN network for the Truth; republicbroadcasting.org)
In addition to the fears and stress created by the insanity going on in the world, I had some personal issues also that caused me great duress; my Father’s worsening Alzheimer’s, the sudden and unexpected death of my beloved cat, (which hit me just as hard as the death of any loved one would have), and finally my mother informing me that her husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and was given 4-6 months. My mother lives in Florida, and when her husband passes she will be alone down there. I began to think about planning to move there, when my lease is up in two years. And just the thought of planning a big move like that was quite stressful.
All of these stresses and worries became too much for my body to physically handle. On the 13th of June, after several days of a bad migraine, I found myself waking up out of sleep with my heart pounding so fast I thought I was having a heart attack, sweating, and shaking. It was like I woke up out sleep and into a panic attack, which usually doesn’t happen. I took my emergency medication that I usually only use when having an extreme panic attack, and tried to go back to sleep. It seemed to work at first, and I briefly fell back to sleep, but then continued to wake up in the same condition several more times. The next day I felt sick to my stomach and seemed to be dealing with a bad episode of IBS; another condition I’ve dealt with for years and frequently accompanies anxiety disorders.
So, I followed my usual protocol of clear fluids to recover until I could progress to soft bland foods; but the problem was I never got to that phase. I was experiencing constant nausea and a complete loss of appetite. Even the thought of trying to eat anything made me more nauseous. So I tried to keep taking in liquids, Boost shakes, smoothies, and this liquid meal replacement product I found on Amazon called Liquid Hope. But even this was a struggle; I would feel painful and bloated for hours after just consuming a Boost shake. And I began to feel so weak I could barely get out of bed.
Finally I decided to go see my doctor. And my doctor promptly sent me to the Emergency Room. There they did bloodwork and urinalysis, ran a CT scan on my abdomen, tested me for Covid, and gave me IV fluids. After all this, they found nothing wrong, diagnosed me with IBS and sent me home with a prescription for anti nausea medication and told me to follow up with my regular doctor. I did follow up with both my primary care physician and my gastroenterologist, more tests, but still no answers. And I still felt just as bad, couldn’t get down any solid food, struggled everyday forcing myself to consume these liquid meals, and still felt so weak I couldn’t walk from my bedroom to the kitchen without feeling like I was going to pass out. There were points I literally thought I was dying.
I wasn’t getting any answers from my medical professionals so it was time to look for an alternative solution. I decided to consult a Medical Intuitive; Lynda Diane at lyndadiane.com. Her background and reviews were impressive, and I could tell from the moment I got on the phone with her that she was the real deal. She started telling me about my problems before even asking any questions. She told me I was dealing with Epstein Barr recurrence, Adrenal Fatigue, and low stomach acid in addition to the IBS. She emailed me a bunch of links to articles about how to heal these conditions with both supplements and natural foods. I began incorporating these foods into my smoothies and ordered some supplements from Amazon, and I began to feel some improvement. But the real game changer was when I began to work on the low stomach acid issue. I read the Dr. Axe article about low stomach acid that she sent me, and purchased a supplement called Betaine HCL with Pepsin and Gentian Bitters, by the company Doctor’s Best. This was like a miracle pill; I took it the first day before each of my liquid meals that contained protein (it must be taken with a protein containing meal) and the next day I felt 90% better. The nausea was gone, my appetite returned and I was able to eat solid food, and I even felt like some of my strength was coming back.
It all made sense; without enough stomach acid, your body is not going to want to take in any food because it will just sit there for a long time causing pain and discomfort, and it also makes you unable to absorb any nutrients from whatever food or liquids you do consume, so it just goes into the gut undigested and putrifies, hence the reason I was so weak and dehydrated despite taking in liquid nutrients.
And of course one of the primary causes of loss of stomach acid is stress. Along with the other two conditions, Epstein Barr is the virus that causes Mono. I had mono when I was 18, and it’s one of those viruses that never actually leaves your system; it goes dormant and can reactivate due to physical or mental stress, leading to feelings of exhaustion, and can even evolve into Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if left untreated. And finally, our adrenals produce our stress hormones; cortisol, adrenaline, noradrenaline. Basically our fight or flight response. But this response is not meant to be going on continuously, so when we experience prolonged periods of stress, they begin to function inadequately. In addition to our stress response, these glands also control metabolism, blood sugar levels, blood pressure, salt and water balance, and the balance of estrogen and testosterone. So when these glands get over taxed from prolonged constant stress, it can throw off our physical health in a multitude of ways.
So, with all this knowledge, the proper foods and supplements, plenty of rest and self care, I am on the road to recovery and hope to be back to work in September. I’m planning to see a hypnotherapist on the 15th to help with my anxiety, and plan to be much more mindful of my physical and mental health going forward.
The moral of this story is, don’t let stress take over your life for extended periods of time; take time for self care, seek therapy, seek help from whatever sources bring you comfort, because prolonged mental stress can and will shut down your physical body.
I hope to be back to 100% health very soon, so I can help all of you reduce the stress in your lives. 😊
Please send prayers and healing energy, I gratefully and graciously appreciate it. 🙏
Neck pain is common and there’s a variety of things that can cause it. You may have just slept wrong and tried to turn your head a certain way only to feel some pretty sharp pain; then you’re stuck walking around all day barely able to turn to the side. You may have been hunched over at your desk all day, or done some exercise that didn’t quite agree with you. Whatever the cause, it’s no fun. Of course, a massage session here will help, but there are some things you can do in the meantime to ease that pain.
Neck pain is frequently the result of tension within the muscles. When the muscles are tight, they bear down on blood vessels, decreasing blood flow to areas, resulting in even more pain, like those nasty tension headaches that can come along for a ride. Stretching can help loosen that tension and improve blood flow, overall decreasing your pain levels. Slowly tilt your head forward, back, and side to side, until you feel a good stretch in each position. Hold it for several seconds and breathe deep. Release and keep moving through the motions and stretching. Listen to your body and find the places where the stretch really seems to be the most effective.
Heat & Cold Therapy
Heat can help to improve blood flow and relax the muscles, while applying cold can decrease inflammation. You can use whatever feels right, but alternating between the two will often help even more. Apply your heating pad for 5 minutes, then a cold pack for 2 or 3 minutes. One round may be all you need for very mild symptoms, but if the pain is persistent, keep alternating between the two for up to 20 minutes, ending with cold to make sure any inflammation is taken care of.
You can use your fingertips, knuckles, self-massage tools like a Thera Cane, or even just a tennis or golf ball; anything that will provide direct pressure into the muscles. Start gently working throughout the neck and shoulders to warm up the tissues, and slowly work into deeper pressure as it feels right. Don’t be afraid of slight discomfort, but stop if you experience any sharp pains.
Get a different pillow
If you’re experiencing neck pain frequently, try switching up your pillow to see if it may be the cause. No one size fits all here. You need to find what works best for your body. And don’t forget that those pillows need fluffed and replaced on a regular basis to keep the proper support.
Of course, you can always come get a massage when you’ve got any sort of pain like this, but I know that’s not always possible and I still want you to feel amazing as much as you can. So, use these tips the next time your neck starts bothering you, and book your next massage to keep you feeling great too!
For several years now, during my personal meditations, during my explorations into my Akashic Records, in activations I’ve received in the various energy healing workshops I’ve attended, I’ve received a persistent message; to teach. Whether it’s been visual images of myself teaching a group, and/or verbal messages, or just a sense of knowing, it’s been recurring and consistent. And quite honestly, I’ve not been too keen on the idea of this. I don’t particularly enjoy speaking in front of a group or having attention centred on me. So for the most part, well I won’t say that I’ve flat out ignored these messages, but I’ve basically just “tucked them away” in the back of my mind with the thought of, maybe someday, in the far distant future, I’ll consider this.
Well, a recent series of events and the strongest messages I’ve yet to receive have led to my decision to take this step Now.
It started in one of my personal meditations. I do many types of meditations, but at least several times a week, I meditate to receive messages from The Universe. I will do this by playing some solfeggio frequency music, taking a few crystals to hold or place on my body, and then just quieting the mind, and announcing something to the effect of:
“Dear God, Angels, Masters, Guides, all Multidimensional Beings of 100% God Light who wish to join me during this meditation, to transmit any messages for my highest and greatest good and the highest and greatest good of all involved, I am open to receive, with Love and Gratitude. Open to receive, open to receive, open to receive.”
And then I just see who shows up and what they have to tell me.
Recently during one of these sessions, I received a message relating to another person. This has always been a bit difficult for me, because I would always worry how the person will react to the message if I tell them; will they appreciate the information? Will they just ignore it? Will they look at me like I’m a nutter and tell me to get lost?
But, I’ve come to learn that none of that actually matters. That I am only the messenger, and once I deliver the message, my responsibility ends there. What they choose to do or not do with the information is between them and The Universe.
So, during the meditation, I received a message about a potential Light Worker. I then went looking for information to pass on to this individual, but was not able to find what I needed. But during this search, another conversation led to the topic of me teaching. I again said, “Maybe someday I will”.
In the following nights meditation, the message to teach was clear and persistent; that the one on one energy work I’m doing is great, but ultimately I should also be helping to activate more Light Workers. I came out of that meditation with the mindset of “Yes, I understand this. If I hear about any teacher training courses in the area in the future, I will look into taking the training.”
Well, next time I checked my messages where I made the initial inquiry, I received a response that, no, there weren’t any of the first level classes coming up, just a teacher training course in August. 😯
The Universe can be really persistent sometimes. So finally I said “Ok Universe! Fine! I get it! You want me to teach. I will! So be it, I will take this training!” 🙌
And so it is. I am now signed up for the New Paradigm MDT Teacher training course, taking place next month. Upon completion, I will be able to provide activations and certification for all who feel called to this modality and the Light Worker path. I’m really quite excited about this now.
So for anyone feeling this calling, stay posted or just get in touch in a couple of months, and I will start looking into options of scheduling a class. I look forward to assisting your journey into the Light Worker Path! 🙏😁☮️🌌
Love & Light
As someone who’s dealt with Anxiety Disorder for most of my life, I wanted to discuss this topic from a first hand perspective, and especially to use my personal experience and insights on this disorder in hopes of offering assistance to others who suffer from this often debilitating condition. Anxiety and Panic Disorder, like a lot of mental health conditions, can often be stigmatised by those who have never experienced these symptoms and therefore cannot relate to what we go through. Uninformed individuals can be dismissive of anxiety sufferers, with statements such as “Calm down, don’t worry about it, let it go, it’ll be fine,” etc. etc.
If only it were that simple, right? If only, when in the grips of a panic attack, we could just decide to “let it go” and then suddenly be 100% better. But no, it’s definitely not that simple. Severe episodes of panic or anxiety can stop you in your tracks, affecting you mentally, emotionally, and physically. You can feel disturbing sensations like reality is distorted, or like you’re losing touch with reality or losing yourself. It can be impossible to hold on to a rational thought during these times, as you deal with this inner struggle, trying to tell yourself “Hold on, it’ll be fine, I’ll be fine, this will pass”, whilst the irrational anxiety brain keeps interjecting with fear thoughts such as “No it’s not, no you won’t, you’re losing your mind, you’ll never feel normal again, something terrible is about to happen, you’re going to die..etc.”
These high stress response feelings also wreck havoc on us physically, with symptoms such as racing heart and heart arrhythmias, gastrointestinal distress, dizziness, shaking, and eventually extreme fatigue as the body exhausts itself from dealing with these highly draining and damaging sensations.
There’s no doubt about the benefits of massage therapy for stress and anxiety; we begin learning about this in school and further study shows a vast amount of research on the topic. Massage therapy has been shown to affect the body’s biochemistry, in ways such as lowering blood pressure, reducing cortisol levels, and increasing the levels of serotonin and dopamine – the neurotransmitters that reduce stress and promote feelings of peace, calm, and happiness. Regular massage has been shown to lead to a reduction in anxiety episodes and symptoms.
In addition, combining massage therapy with energy work such as Reiki can reach even deeper to assist with healing not only on the physical level, but also the mental and spiritual levels, clearing and balancing the Chakras and clearing away negative energy patterns that may be contributing to our anxious feelings.
But, what about when our anxiety itself prevents us from participating in these healing therapies? From my own experience, I know that several factors of anxiety that can make us reluctant to seek treatment. First, many of us experience anxiety at the prospect of going somewhere new and unfamiliar, and outside of our “comfort spaces”. Then there’s also the worry that comes with meeting a new person and working with someone we’re not familiar with. We worry about all the unknowns and irrational fear thoughts can then come in and make us worry that “something bad” might happen. And even during the treatment, something as relaxing as a massage can also invoke anxiety thoughts; for some of just the act of lying still and what can feel like surrendering control to another person can make us anxious. Or we start to worry, “Omg what if I have a panic attack during the session? What will they think of me? I’ll be so embarrassed.” Some of us also find that our anxiety is often triggered by physical sensations, and become hyper-aware of our bodily sensations, to where something like an increase in heart rate due to the increased circulation that can come as a result of massage can turn into a thought of “Omg, what if I’m having a heart attack”.
I experienced all of this when I first started receiving massage. And if I had the choice, I may have just given up and decided I didn’t want to do it again. But, I didn’t have a choice. I was in school, and part of our training obviously included giving and receiving massages to each other. So I persevered. And after awhile, I noticed that I no longer experienced the anxiety symptoms during the massage. I also noticed that I was experiencing less anxiety symptoms in general day to day life.
After finishing school, I’ve continued to make time regularly to schedule massages for myself. And I was thinking about all these things during my last massage, and how I wanted to use my experience to help others. I would like to use my experiences with anxiety to provide a safe space for others who deal with this condition to still be able to enjoy the healing benefits of massage and energy work.
If you currently suffer from anxiety or panic disorders, don’t let it stop you from coming in. I am completely empathetic to everything you may be feeling, and therefore will not be in any way judgemental of any related issues that may come up during the treatment. I will work with you to change or adjust any aspect of the treatment to your comfort level, and welcome and encourage your communication.
I respectfully invite you to take this step, to help me to help you to move in the direction towards a more peaceful life.
Several years ago in the beginnings of my spiritual awakening, I attended a couple of classes on the Akashic Records. One was a basic intro class, where we learned the Pathway Prayer Process to open our own Records and the Records of others, and the second one was called Healing Through the Akashic Records, in which we delved much deeper into our own Records for the purpose of personal transformation and healing.
This was one of the most profound experiences I have had, and was one of the primary catalysts in accelerating my spiritual awakening, so I just wanted to share a bit of information about this for those who may not be familiar with this topic.
The Akashic Records are an energetic database of everything a soul has experienced and will experience in all lifetimes for ones entire existence. The Pathway Prayer Process is one method that allows you to access these Records. When you enter the Hall of Records, you immediately feel a deep sense of peace and pure unconditional love. You are met by different guides, primarily a group of beings referred to as “Loved Ones”. Your Loved Ones are people you knew in your life who have passed on. They could be friends or family, but could also someone who was only a short term or casual acquaintance in this life, but could have been close family or friends in previous lives. For example, on two occasions now I have opened my Records and been met by someone who I knew only for a brief time in this life, only to discover they have been part of my soul group for hundreds of lifetimes. A soul group is a large group of souls who continuously reincarnate around the same time and will interact in each other’s lives in different ways. The person who is your sister in this life may have been your child in a past life, and in the next life maybe could just be the guy that serves you your coffee at the corner diner each morning.
The other beings you will interact with in the Hall of Records are referred to as “Teachers”. These are highly evolved souls, mostly who have lived previously in physical form, and have evolved spiritually to a high enough level through hundreds and hundreds of lives and experiences, who now exist only in the higher dimensional realms for the purpose of helping guide other souls through their journey. A Teacher work with many different souls, and you may have Teachers that are with you for only a part of one life, or over the course of several lives. Your Teachers will stay with you until you’ve learned everything you need to from them.
Once you learn to access your Records, you can then do this anytime you wish. It is a deeply healing experience, and a great aide to humanity in raising our conscious vibration and bringing spiritual insight into our lives. My class teacher often referred to our Teachers and Loved Ones as our “Spiritual Cheerleaders”, as they are there to guide us and support us in our life, and so joyfully and lovingly greet us whenever we open our Records. It is a true comfort in this life to be able consult with these beings of unconditional love.
I took my classes with Christina Cross at Equilibrium here in Chicago. She is a magnificent teacher, and I would highly recommend taking one of her courses if you can. Their website is:
Also, Linda Howe, creator of the Pathway Prayer Process, has numerous amazing books on the topic and also offers classes both online and in person here in Chicago and various other locations. Her website is https://lindahowe.com
Regardless of where or how you learn, I would recommend everyone to learn how to access their Akashic Records. It will be a beautiful experience that will better your life in many ways.
Bodhisattva: A person with an awakened nature who vows to help awaken every being in the Universe, realizing that they there is only one Consciousness. To awaken one’s true self, one must awaken all beings.
” There are innumerable sentient beings in the Universe; I vow to help them all awaken. My imperfections are inexhaustible; I vow to overcome them. The Dharma is unknowable; I vow to know it. The way of awakening is unattainable; I vow to attain it. “